Finn had a wonderful physical therapy session today. I was bracing for it, considering last week he was in full meltdown mode the whole time. This week, he wasn't exactly happy, but he didn't meltdown and with the help of his trusty pacifier, keep him at least calm. He is improving in a lot of areas. So much so, in fact, that his torticollis has switched sides! Before he was looking to the right, tilting to the left and now he is major tilting to the right and somewhat looking to the left! Needless to say, we are stopping the exercises to get him to look left and tilt right! He also did a great job lifting his head and holding it midline when his body is at an angle. These are all things that he absolutely could not do before. So we are supposed to focus on exercises that strengthen his neck. Overall, a very good appointment.
On the flip side, I am struggling with some major nursing frustration. Now that Finn is taking two bottles a day, he just isn't nursing well and I feel like my milk is going away! Oh, and he wouldn't latch on last night, which complete broke my heart. I broached the subject with Finn's doctor yesterday and was basically told to not worry about it because he is gaining weight. Well, I'm worried. I'm just not ready to stop nursing. I went over to my friend Becky's this morning, and basically emotionally puked on her...which I felt terrible doing because she has her own struggles! But, she has been there and had some wonderful suggestions, lent me a book about nursing and gave great advice. The book said it is better to wake his up to eat than let him sleep through feedings. Yay...that is what I felt I should do, but needed somebody to tell me it was okay. The book also said that instead of giving Finn two full bottles a day, we should split that amount between each of his feedings, which I think will help with him latching on and feeling like he is getting enough. I just don't think Finn realizes when he is hungry because he sleeps 12 hours at night and goes 4 or 5 hours between feedings sometimes during the day! So, I am going to try to nurse him every 2 1/2 hours during the day and get up once during the night. Becky also suggested doing a nursing marathon where you basically "nurse" him all day long, so I think I'm going to try that on Saturday.
I don't know if any of this will work or not, but at least I feel like I'm doing something. I also called Finn's doctor and left a message to see if I could meet with a lactation consultant. I just need some help! I know this is "small" potatoes in the big scheme of life and in Finn's journey, but it is a very emotional subject and for whatever reason, I'm just not ready or willing to let it go yet. I just enjoy nursing him so much more than bottle feeding him.
3 comments:
I know how frustrating it can be to nurse...just hang in there! You have done such a great job already! I have some books too for you if you want to borrow them when you come for our play date (one is about nursing and the other is about sleep schedules (i learned a lot from this one)) - which Dane and I are looking forward to!!
Wanting to nurse your baby is definitely not "small potatoes," my dear! Do not allow yourself to feel anything but pride for wanting that bond with Finn. You are doing what you need to do, searching out various resources and trying different tactics; keep up the good work and stay positive!
Oh the fun of being a Mom! It's hard, but just do what feels right!!! He's still a little guy and despite what books and people say, you know him!!
Keep up the growing Finn and lots of luck with the nursing. ...what I wouldn't give for a night without it...but we're working on that...slowly but surely....
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