Unchristian?

I consider myself to be a Christian and I also try to live a Christian life. What does that mean? I think it is different for everybody but for me, it is to be close to Jesus and act in a way that reflects that close relationship. I try (keyword TRY) not to judge, I try to treat others kindly and be charitable with my time, actions and money. While I do not think it is some requirement to be Christian or to go to heaven, it is very important to me to go to church and attend mass.

Anyway, I had the most unchristian experience today in what I think should be the least likely place...church! Like I mentioned, it is important to me to go to church. It is like a recharge or reset button for me, gets me back on the path I want to be on and gives me time to reflect on life and how I want to act and be. I do not like to take the kids by myself and so far, I think I've only had to once or twice because either Jim has gone or my mom has been here. But alas, my mom wasn't here today and Jim wasn't feeling well, so I gathered the kiddos (dressed them as pretty as could be, of course!) and off we went to church. We were a little later than I like to be, but we got there jsut before mass started, which means we weren't late but I couldn't find a quarantined area for us to sit. We sat in our normal area with nobody in the pew ahead of us (I try to do this whenever possible so the kids bother as few of people as possible). Anyway, I don't think Finn was feeling well and Korri was tired. Let the behavior start!

Well, there was a woman two pews in front of us who is often at the same service we are, but usually sits in the first pew (must have been taken today). She kept turning around and starting at me like I should do something with these unruly kids! Yes, my kids were louder than normal and yes, I was by myself, so keeping them under control was not excessively easy. But she was ridiculous. It got to the point, only minutes after mass started that I honestly wanted to pack up and leave as I was on the verge of crying. I prayed about it and the message I kept getting in my head was that God would rather me be there with loud kids than not be there at all. So, I gathered myself together and just did the best I could to keep the kids as quiet as possible.

I wish I were brave enough to have caught her gaze, put my hands up, shrugged my shoulders and mouthed "What?!?!". I mean, didn't she realize that she was at a Catholic mass where the number of children out number the grains of sand on a beach? Hello! We are CATHOLIC! I have a pretty low threshold for misbehavior at church anyway (thanks, mom and dad!) so it wasn't like either one was swinging from the rafters or screaming like a monkey! She was old and I'm guessing had children of her own at some point...but was it so long ago that her memory tells her that her children never spoke above a whisper and didn't move a muscle while in church? Not possible and not realistic. The bottom line is that it is really sad that a fellow "Christian" would make another churchgoer feel so ashamed that she would rather not go to church as all. I love Jesus and I honestly don't think he cares if my kids are loud in church. If I have the strength (God will need to provide it!), next week I am going to sit RIGHT behind her and let her turn around all she likes! At least my children and I have a relationship with Jesus and were in the place I feel we were supposed to be!