Super baby

Yesterday my OB appt showed no cervix change (of course). However, the doctor was concerned because my belly was measuring at FORTY-ONE weeks and I'm only 36. So she scheduled a growth scan ultrasound for last night (it was the earliest I could get in). Stacey and Dillon graciously met us at the hospital so Jim and I could go without kiddos. The US showed that Babygan is measuring at 40w 2d, which is almost exactly 4 weeks ahead and is in the 98th percentile for size! My fluid levels showed normal (usually they show high) but baby was super active, so it is hard for them to get an accurate measure of fluid. Basically Babygan is measuring at 8 lbs 12 oz with a +/- of 20 oz (could range between 7lbs 8oz to 10lbs.). And we are four weeks early! Yikes. My doctor doesn't seem concerned but we are all hoping I deliver sooner rather than later for risk of needing to deliver an 11+ lbs baby! This is something I've never had to worry about before and honestly, I'm not very comfortable or happy with it, but there is nothing I can do about it either (I guess bigger is better than smaller but I'm not looking forward to all the comments either). It is in God's hands and we just continue to pray that my water breaks or these contractions actually start doing something to my cervix. Here's hoping for an eventful week!

Also, happy birthday to Grandma/Mom/Kathy! Hope you have an awesome day.

Fourth times the charm?

Nope! So I know I said I wasn't going back into the hospital until my water broke or the baby was coming out. And since my water hasn't broke yet, that should tell you how painful and uncomfortable contractions were yesterday since I did go in last night, which for those keeping track, is my FOURTH trip to the hospital for labor symptoms. They started regularly around 4:30 and by 5:30, I was at a 5, possibly 6, on the pain chart and to this point, they have never progressed to that point. They were about 3 minutes apart. After Korri's gymnastics (which is where I was when all of this was happening...thank God Lynn was here to help Korri!), we decided to all go to dinner. I mean, again, what's the point. However all through dinner, I was clearly having issues, so Lynn and Ron (who just happened to be in town for Finn's baseball game) stayed and Jim and I went to the hospital.

What happened? Yup, you guessed it...no change! Still at a 4.5. I just don't get it. I mean, women go in with less painful and further apart contractions and come home with a baby. They monitored me for a little over an hour and then asked if I wanted to stay or go home. Well, duh...why stay if nothing was happening?!?! I was SO sure it was time. I woke up several times last night due to contractions, which again, is a new thing since they haven't been bad enough to wake me up.

So Ron and Lynn went home late last night, but are "on call" should anything change. Jim asked if he should stay home today (he is working in St. Paul) but again, I just don't see the point. So, I'm at home alone with the kids today, having significant contractions but probably "only" a 3 or so. ARGH! Okay, I'm done complaining. I'll probably be complaining about how little sleep I'm getting in a few weeks but if these contractions keep me up as much as they did last night...I'd rather be up because I'm taking care of my baby! Oh, and we are 36 weeks today, which is SO much better than 32. I just keep praying that God agrees that it is time to meet this little munchkin and allows my water to break...soon! Next OB appt is tomorrow, so I'll update if anything changes...but don't hold your breath!

How do you know you've been to the hospital too much? The charge nurse greets you by name and you comment on her new hair cut!

Hurry up and wait

First off, let it be known that I'm so thankful and happy that Babygan has continued to "cook" for longer than 32 weeks, when I first went into the hospital. Every day means that much bigger, healthier and less time in the NICU. However, unless you've been in my position (which I've now been in twice), you honestly have no idea what it is like to be in labor but not laboring for weeks on end, never knowing if or when things will change. The mental game is exhausting, especially since I have to weigh the risk/reward of not going in if it is nothing compared to the fact that I labored for 4.5 hours with Korri, which isn't a long time! I know I sound like I'm whining and I feel bad/guilty about that, but it is what it is.

That being said, I've been having more significant contractions over the last day or so. This afternoon they were fairly regular and as close as four minutes apart. Did I go in? Of course not! Especially since I had an OB check this afternoon. The doctor checked me and I'm now dilated to a 4.5 or 5 and 80% effaced. Baby's head is still somewhat high, but she said that doesn't really matter in terms of whether or not you are in labor or going into labor shortly.

So, she sent me home to wait it out to see what happens. Yet again, we could have a baby tonight...or it could be in three weeks! Argh. But silver lining? Mommy and Babygan are fine physically and there is no reason for concern at this point. I guess we'll see what the next day or so brings! Thanks for all of your continued thoughts, well wishes and prayers. It is in God's hands, which I need to keep reminding myself.

Ruptured drum?

Mr. Finnegan complained that his ear hurt yesterday around lunch time. I haven't really worried about ear infections since we put semi-permanent tubes in nearly two years ago. He seemed tired and a little weepy but took a nap just fine, so I didn't think much of it. Well around snack time, I noticed there was a LOT of green stuff coming out of his left ear. Even with all of his ear infections of the past, never had this happened before. I tried to wipe the outer ear with a tissue and he started crying hysterically. I promptly gave his some ibuprofen and called his Dr. I didn't know what to expect since it was nearly 4pm already but much to my surprise and relief, they got him in at 4:30.

So, off Jim and Finn went to the doctor. The Dr. wasn't able to actually see inside Finn's left ear due to swelling and "junk" being in there but the right tube was out. I am not happy to hear this since both tubes were fine in March for his well-child check. Given the fact that the Dr. couldn't see what was going on, he surmised that either Finn's ear drum ruptured OR he has massive pressure/infection that was plugging the tube and it is now draining. I've never had my ear drum rupture but I've heard it is VERY painful. Regardless of what is going on, the Dr. put Finn on ear drops for 10 days. We got two doses in last night and he said his ear felt a little better this morning. He seems to be feeling better, too. And as long as TV is on, he does really well with the drops, which I'm very thankful for (we've had our share of screaming matches around ear drops in the past!).

We will go back in a few weeks so the Dr. can make sure all is healed and also see if the tube is still in. Now this momma gets to worry about recurring ear infections again! Argh. Although, I feel like there is an age where most kids out grow ear infections and I'm hoping and praying that Finn is at that magical age. I guess we will see. If something has to rupture in this house, not sure what is better: Finn's ear or my membranes! For now, Babygan continues to stay put, even though contractions continue!

Side story, I was going out to dinner last week and noticed a baby turtle next to the driveway. I text Jim about it, thinking the kids would like to see it. Well, when I got home, Jim said that it was all dried out and even though it was a snapping turtle (Jim typically wouldn't save a snapping turtle), he and the kids brought it over to the marshy area. But the cutest part? The kids said they were the Wonder Pets saving a turtle! If you don't know this show, there are three animals that save other animals. I just thought that was really cute.

OB update

The short? No change! The long? My doctor is shocked that I'm still pregnant! She said not only that there isn't a change, she would say it has even somewhat improved (probably just because my contractions have leveled out)...still dilated to 4 and about 60% effaced. Contractions continue but the medication has helped manage the "tightening" ones that don't do anything. But then again, I was about this same stage for four weeks with Korri, so who knows?!?! She thinks I'll deliver within the next two weeks but again, the point is we just don't know. She also said that they would most likely induce me at 38 weeks (which would be 7/23) due to the progress/point I'm at. Good to know, I guess. So more of the same...wait and see. While I'm happy baby hasn't been born because a full term baby is always better, the mental strain this back and forth is taking a toll on me. For my sake, I'd rather just have Babygan, but for Babygan's sake, another three weeks would be best. So we just keep on keepin' on like we have been doing!

Celebrating with sadness

We made it! Today marks two very important things in my life: making it to 34 weeks in this pregnancy and one year since my dad passed away.

Obviously 34 weeks isn't our end goal, but it is HUGE that we made it this far, especially considering the events of the last week or two. Now, when I go into labor, Babygan SHOULD be able to stay at Buffalo Hospital with me and not have to be transported to Children's. That is a huge weight off my mind. I had some pretty major contractions last night but they went away after medication and rest. So, we are good for now. I'll be curious to see if there has been any progress or changes at my OB check tomorrow.

Secondly, today marks one year since my dad passed away. There are certain events that change your life forever. This is one of them for me. It was so unexpected and tore me apart at my core. When you don't have a picture perfect relationship with somebody and then they are taken from you, it is horrible. That being said, it also gave me the perspective on how much I truly loved him and the impact he had on my life, even if it wasn't what I thought I needed at the time. My dad was always there to help, watch and listen. There have been so many moments in the last year where I've thought, "I just need to ask dad" but then I can't. People say that time heals all wounds and while I certainly am in a better place than I was a year ago, I don't think I'll "get over" my dad dying. I just want another hug. I just want my kids to have one more visit to play on his dump truck or backhoe. I wish he could have met and held my unborn child. I wish he would have gone to the doctor just ONCE so we knew what was going on but in true dad fashion, he died like he lived his life...on his own terms and in his own way.

Dad, I will miss you until my dying day. You weren't perfect but you were my dad. Thank you for teaching me the value of hard work, loyalty and being a kind person. You are missed so much. I know you are watching over us. I'm glad you are just a prayer away. I love you so much!

Sprung

We are free. From the hospital at least. We are 33 weeks and 3 days today.

Last night contractions were irregular but seemed stronger. I requested to be put back on the monitor to check late last night and the nurse wasn't too concerned even though contractions were TWO minutes apart. Sheesh. Enough already. I was able to go right to sleep and slept well, so they obviously weren't too bad.

This morning they started talking about sending me home today or tomorrow. They checked my cervix and I was still at a 4 but 60% effaced. Since all these contractions aren't dilating me and after a lengthy conversation with the Perinatologist, they put me on a medication that should eliminate the "minor" contractions but not labor if that is what my body needs to do. So basically, treating the contraction symptoms but not preventing labor.

Given all that, Jim and I were fine with going home. The short term goal is to get me to Wed at which time I will be 34 weeks and it is likely Babygan can stay at Buffalo with me (it is a level 2 NICU). The next goal would be to make it to 35 weeks at which time baby statistically has considerably fewer complications with breathing and eating. After that, the goal is 37 weeks and beyond. We will take whatever we can get.

It feels so good to be home, even if it feels empty without the kiddos here. They went back with mom on Friday for the weekend and a family reunion. I have my next Dr appt on Thursday so I really hope there is nothing to report before then. Will update before if events warrant it.

Thank you Kristine, Stacey, Dillon, DeAnn, and Laura for visiting. It was a long three days and company always makes it go by faster. And double thank you to Laura for bringing Jim lunch. Options are limited. Until next time.

Friday mini-update

They checked my cervix late this morning and while contractions were about 2-3 minutes apart, there had been no change with my cervix (still dilated to a 4 and about 30% effaced). Even though the contractions didn't appear to be moving things along, they are not happy with how close they were, so they decided to keep me here for the day. They took me off the monitor (yay!) so I was actually able to shower (oh, so happy for the sweet simple things in life!). They will monitor me again this evening to see how things are doing. Over the last hour, contractions have become a little more intense, so I guess we will see.

This morning, it sounded like they are not comfortable sending me home as long as I'm contracting until I'm 34 weeks, which is when we would be able to deliver baby at Buffalo Hospital. So, worse case scenario, we will be here until Wednesday. Again, not sure what best case scenario is...a healthy baby, I guess!

Jim and I are catching up on Orange in the New Black. I'm so thankful for my husband for a million reasons but one is how tech savvy he is! You should see the cords he rigged to get Netflix on the hospital TV!

Another day, another hospital, not another baby

I miss my morning snuggles with my kiddos! Small price to pay for a healthy baby but the last few days have been trying to say the least.

So, to elaborate on Jim's eloquent post from last night, we are currently at Abbott Northwestern Hospital in Minneapolis. Here are the details leading up to this unplanned stay. As you know, since last Friday, I was told to ignore the "tightening" contractions and only pay attention to "painful" ones that were regular. I was contracting all week but nothing had really changed.

Until Wednesday (which feels like Friday to me for some reason!). We had a busy day, which I'm sure didn't help. On and off I noticed that I was contracting but with our schedule I just kept moving. Finally around 7:30, when I sat down for dinner, I definitely noticed the contractions felt "different." Over the course of the evening, I was having some difficulties but the kids had to get to bed (which I don't think ever happened!). Jim and I sat down in bed, he noticed I was struggling and asked me to call the Birth Center. I agreed because I knew he wouldn't leave me alone if I didn't. The nurse basically said to come in right away. Argh!

Thankfully, Stacey was just waiting at home for our call and came right over! The kids were still up when we left around 10:30pm (poor Stacey!) but I'm sure they crashed shortly after. We got to the hospital around 11pm. I was definitely contracting. The first thing that I really liked and appreciated was that the charge nurse took the time to give us a summary of what to expect for the next few hours and different scenarios that could play out. VERY helpful for us. They started with a cervical exam that was also repeated an hour later. Knowing I had been dilated to 1 cm and 25% effaced with the cervix/baby being really high, the nurse did an exam and I could tell things were different. She said, "Well, you aren't a 1 any more." My first thought? Oh, it closed back up! Nope. She said the baby's head was low, and I was now dilated to a 3. They put me on the monitors and would check me again in an hour.

The details are a bit sketchy to me now, but an hour later, she checked me again and I was to a 4 and 30% effaced. Time to call the doctor in, who just happens to be the husband of my doctor. They decided to transfer me to Abbott and against my pleading, they put me on magnesium to slow the contraction for the trip. Yes, for those keeping track, that is three pregnancies with three doses of magnesium. Yuck. It took a while for the ambulance to get to Buffalo. Jim headed home to pick some things up and meet me at Abbott. The hour long trip was very bumpy...I think my new crusade is going to be making sure shocks are installed in all ambulances! Sheesh.

We arrived around 3am and the perinatologist immediately discontinued the magnesium! Thank God! They haven't checked my cervix since arriving at Abbott because it really wouldn't have changed their actions and they wanted to avoid stimulating labor. Contractions have been somewhat consistent but after the magnesium, less intense. The goal was to watch me yesterday and then send me home today if nothing changed or labor wasn't imminent.

So first thing this morning, I asked to go on the monitor...and they weren't happy with what they saw. While the contractions aren't painful for the most part (except one that was at my tail bone and had me nearly in tears), they are 3-4 minutes apart. So, I'm staying on the monitor for a couple hours and then they will assess my progress and whether or not I can go home.

I'm not sure exactly WHAT scenario we are praying for (staying here and having baby or going home) but just that baby is healthy regardless of what happens. The limbo is killing me. So thankful for Stacey and my mom for helping us in so many ways. Being grateful doesn't even come close to how we feel. Will update again when we know more!

Back to Where We Belong

Sitting here awake which is my norm when spending time at Abbott Northwestern Hospital, I am feeling nostalgic.  Feeling nostalgic and not sleeping, I took the opportunity to re-read the blog posts from our first journey here with Finn which started in December 2008.  When we were publishing those regular updates as a way of therapy and to simply keep people informed, I had no clue what those posts might mean to me in the future.  In the middle of reading to them, I was struck with the realization that our words documenting those struggles are now words of comfort along our current path.  With that in mind, I thought it would be prudent to make sure to capture a snapshot of this moment as we never know how it may be helpful.

By way of update for those of you who may be interested and may not have heard, I took Stacy to Buffalo Hospital on Wednesday evening with preterm labor symptoms and she was transferred by ambulance to Abbott early Thursday morning where we've been hanging out since then.  She is doing well as is the yet to be born Babygan.  Thank you so much to everyone who has helped out and supported us with everything so far!

Since we were last here with Finn and most recently with Korri, the facility has undergone an amazing transformation.  Abbott and Children's collaborated in establishing the Mother and Baby Center which is where we are currently staying.  The Center is attached directly to Children's Hospital.  It is a beautiful place and much more comfortable than the previous accommodations.  The level of care and attention is still as phenomenal as ever.

When we moved to Waverly and decided to have another child, while I realized it was a distinct possibility with our history, I didn't REALLY think we'd end up back here in this same (but different) place in Minneapolis; but there is no where we would rather be given the circumstances.  With Stacy having stabilized since the transfer and not progressing any further toward delivery, we actually have mixed emotions about what appears to be her inevitable discharge on Friday.  We know that it is best for Babygan to have every day possible to grow before being born, however it is still likely baby will be early and if that's the case we'd rather be early here!  Thankfully, both doses of steroids for lung development have been given for some time now and the magnesium that was used to stop the labor is good for preventing neural bleeds for baby; Buffalo Hospital is equipped to have a 34 week baby so all things considered we are in a good situation either way.

During the re-read of Finn's story, I noted that I posted the following five days before Finn was born (his gestational age at the time was 25 weeks and one day): "We are now hoping for 61 more days (of gestation) as a best case scenario. At that point, she (Stacy) would be at 34 weeks and they would induce labor."  We didn't make it there with Finn obviously, but knowing that with this pregnancy we are now just FIVE days away from what we thought at the time would have been Finn's best case scenario is extremely comforting and amazing.

As I sit here, I am wearing a t-shirt that I hastily grabbed on our way out the door to head to Buffalo Hospital.  It is perhaps no coincidence that it turned out to be my March of Dime's NICU reunion shirt with Children's logo emblazoned on the back.  While I would desperately love to actually get to 40 weeks just once, I am overcome with emotion and gratitude thinking about the miracle that is Finn.  I am appreciative beyond any means of communication in the medical advancements made possible by organizations like the March of Dimes and medical providers like Abbott and Children's which helped make Finn's life possible and make a positive outcome for our current journey very likely.  If this is to be the story of our final pregnancy it is fitting that we are here in this place with this set of circumstances with Babygan continuing to grow in the same Garden as did Finn...and that I'm wearing this t-shirt.

Future Olympian?

Yesterday was Korri's first night of gymnastics. It is the same program she and Finn did this spring but without Finn this time (he obviously picked baseball instead). It is parent participation, so I don't know how long I'll be able to take her but the teachers helped out a lot. And let me tell you, taking a child to a sports class who truly wants to go, listens and does well is so rewarding! Korri was a champ. She started out walking unassisted on the beams on the floor, then she did the high beam and by the end of the rotation, she was doing high kicks on the high beam and only holding on occasionally! And she loved every minute, other than warm ups when you are supposed to tell you knees to stay straight while bending (hard to do if you aren't super flexible). Then at the end, they did hand stands against the wall, to which Korri walked up and just did it. A feat which she repeated for Jim after we got home with no hesitation. She said her favorite part was the uneven bars where they climbed up a slide, hung on to the bar and then slid down the slide.

Like I told Jim when I got home last night, I don't think either of our children will end up being world-class athletes by any means, but it is so much fun to seem them participating in activities that they enjoy so much and do so well. I'm just thankful they both have SOME ability, so they might actually stick with something.

New bed (kind of) arrived yesterday! It was supposed to be here when we got home from baseball but there was a mix up on inventory and scheduling the delivery, so they fixed the problem and delivered our mattresses and we are "borrowing" their bases until ours arrive. The bad part is only half of the bed adjusts but this morning was the first morning in a long time where my feet actually weren't swollen (or bad at least!). The kids love it. It is higher than I thought it would be but once the other base comes and the headboard and frame arrive, it should look pretty good. So happy.

Take me out to the ball game

On Babygan's front, no news is good news. I continue to contract but "painful" ones are irregular, so we just keep on, keepin' on. I have my weekly shot and check on Thursday AM, so hopefully no news/changes again!

Yesterday was Finn's first day of baseball. We weren't given much information beforehand but figured out what to bring and where to go. Jim took the day off and was able to go with us, which was really nice. They worked on catching and throwing. The coach's "rules" are to 1. learn 2. safety and 3. have fun. I like that! Finn had a blast and did really well! There are about 15 kids aged 5 to 6. I know Finn has been looking forward to baseball but for those of you who remember his participation issues in the past, I wasn't sure what the expect. He did GREAT! He partially listened (there may have been some playing in the dirt between catches), his skills were par or above average (which surprised us since catching and throwing are his weaker skills) and most importantly, he participated right away, all the way and with a happy heart! I think Jim and I told him 20 times how proud we were of him for his good attitude. I think it helps that it is something he LOVES to do but even that doesn't guarantee a good outcome. He's the one by home plate, squatting down.

The field is at Waverly Lake which has a public beach and playground! Huh, how long have we lived here and didn't know about this? So the kids are excited to play at the park and go swimming but I found out yesterday that baseball is Mon-Thurs from 1-2 pm until the end of July! I was told those were the beginning hours and once games started, it would be less of a time commitment. Oh, well. We'll figured it out.

We got Finn a new, little bigger glove for this year, so Korri got to have Finn's old one. Since daddy was there, he played catch with her, which I thought was super cute. It didn't hold her attention too long, but this momma would LOVE for her to play softball someday! Gotta love the dress and all!

And finally, today is the day! This morning was our last morning snuggling in our old, small bed! Our new, king sized, adjustable bed is being delivered today. Me and my feet can't wait! The kids are excited too because it has a remote...I think we will have to set clear rules right away with that. Finding high quality Twin XL sheets has proven nearly impossible, so we just got cheap ones at Walmart yesterday so at least we have sheets. Oh, the problems we have! LOL. Here's hoping for an amazing night's sleep tonight and comfy snuggles in the morning!

Three trips in three days

Three trips to the hospital in three days, I think you all would agree, is too many. And hopefully the last for a while. The first trip was Thursday (and technically I had TWO trips Thursday but the first was just to my clinic which just happens to be in the hospital). We had the first steroid shot and an ultrasound to look at baby's size and fluid levels, but you already know that.

Well, Friday (32 weeks, 2 days; Friday the 13th AND a full moon!) was a lazy day, which was good, but not good enough. By the time I got the kids down for nap around 2:30, I finally was able to rest and put my feet up, at which time I realized I'd been contracting. Since I was in bed, I was able to time the contractions, which I don't think is an easy thing to do (when does it stop, start, how long, how painful, etc). Right away they were 6 minutes apart but they seemed to fluctuate between 6 and 10 minutes. I finally called in at 4:15 because I was afraid my doctor had gone home for the day. She hadn't gone home yet but they transferred me to the Birth Center, I think for expedience sake. I talked to the charge nurse and she said without monitoring me, she couldn't be sure what was happening. Well, since I just happened to be going in at 5:30 for my second steroid shot, we both agree that I should be monitored when I got in.

Thank God, Angie and Erica were already going to come over and were so kind and flexible to meet us at the hospital instead. I was expecting a quick shot and maybe 20 minutes on the contractions monitor. That didn't happen as my contractions were actually 5-6 minutes apart NOT 6-10 like I thought (see I was missing one every so often!). And they continued to intensify and shorten to 4 minutes while I was there. Argh. Angie took the kids to dinner (again, THANK YOU!), Stacey came to pick kids up to bring to our house, as Angie was actually on her way back to Benson. DeAnn headed to our house to help put the kids to bed and Jim's flight finally landed and he came straight to the hospital. Talk about a lot of coordinating. And yet again, makes us realize what amazing, supportive people we have in our lives. Thank you so much each of you for changing your plans, dropping everything and helping us out.

Selfie waiting to see what the contractions were going to do (I think my face says it all):

Back to the contractions, eventually, they gave me Terbutaline around 8:15 pm to stop the contractions and it worked in 10 minutes. They sent us home with instructions for me to "do nothing" the rest of the night and monitor any changes. Well, around 9:30, I started noticing contractions again, so I went up to bed and they were around 4.5 minutes apart over the next two hours. I decided to go to sleep but wasn't able to STAY asleep, which is when I called back. (BTW: Jim said he is very proud of me for not only calling in once but twice!) Back in we go at 12:30 am to see what these were about. Again, thank God, Erica was staying over, so she could stay at the house with the kids (who were obviously sleeping but still need somebody there with them). We stayed at the hospital for about an hour and a half at which time the doctor basically said there isn't much they can do, especially since my cervix isn't changing (which is good news). So they gave me something to basically make me sleep and sent us home around 2:30 am, with the new instructions to call or come in when the contractions are "painful" and consistent and to just "ignore" the tightening ones that aren't changing my cervix. Easier said than done.

Talk about a whirl wind day. I know we need Babygan to "cook" at least a few more weeks but this up and down and not knowing and having to coordinate the kids is really tough on me (and probably Jim, too, but he can speak for himself). I think back to when all that happened with Finn and while it was the hardest thing I've ever been through, the part that was "easier" is we didn't have any other kids and it all happened at the beginning so there wasn't this back and forth (or at least it happened at the hospital so it wasn't on me to figure it out at home). I guess there really is a silver lining in every situation!

Basically, they want me to take it easy, which they've been telling me to do for several weeks now anyway. Limit stress as much as possible and keep track of how I'm feeling and any changes. So, all that hullabaloo with nothing to show for it. The bright side? Babygan and I are healthy and doing well, physically at least! My dreams of a "normal" pregnancy are officially over, but then again, they were just dreams as I knew it most likely wouldn't be the case. Oh, well. We'll figure it out. What's next?

Baby bump in the road

I had my 32 week OB check yesterday. First and foremost, my cervix has remained consistent for two weeks now, which is great news! And baby is sitting really high, which puts less pressure on my cervix, which is also great news. However, when the doctor measured my belly, it was showing significant grow in the last week, which caused my doctor some concern. She decided to move my growth ultrasound up two weeks in order for me to have that done yesterday evening, which I did. More on that in a second.

While I was trying to schedule that and figure out what to do with the kids, the results of my FFN test came back as positive. A positive FFN means you have a 25% chance that you will deliver the baby in the next 2 weeks. It isn't the worse results to get only because there is a high false positive with this test (BUT I had a negative result with Korri and still went into preterm labor, so it is what it is). Anyway, considering my history and recent developments, she had me come in last night for the first of two steroid shots. These shots are given 24 hours apart and help the baby's lungs mature. I'll go back in tonight for my second. Jim was happy to hear the steroids were being given as he's been asking about it as a precautionary measure for several weeks. Contractions continue but are not regular, however, are getting more "noticeable" than they have been the last few weeks!

After my shot, we went in for my ultrasound. I am SO thankful that Stacey and Dillon were able to meet us at the hospital for the ultrasound. The tech was needed in the ER, which means we were over half an hour late getting into the appt; so having company was much appreciated. Also, since Dillon was there and he is so grown up and mature at the ripe old age of 10, he "babysat" Finn in the lobby while Stacey, Korri and I went in for the ultrasound. That was a huge help, as Korri had enough questions on her own! I think she thought it was cool, even if she probably didn't really understand what she saw on the screen.

Basically, the doctor thought I was measuring 4.5 weeks big at my OB check, but based on the ultrasound, it is closer to 2.5 weeks, which is a big difference. Still, it makes sense that I'm measuring so large because my fluid levels is measuring at the 90% and baby is 86%! Big baby with lots of extra fluid makes for mommy having a big tummy! My goal is to actually make real efforts to eat as close to the diabetic diet (high protein; high fiber) as I can so that my eating habits don't contribute to an even bigger baby, but there is no guarantee this change will affect much.

Mentally and emotionally, I'm doing okay. I was pretty flustered yesterday when the FFN results came in, especially since Jim was in Chicago, but I felt better after the ultrasound. Even though we are still early, we know we can handle whatever comes our way at this point (thanks, Finn!). I'm so thankful that we continue to hear that baby is healthy and has no health risks. The hardest part for me, especially over the last couple of weeks, is not knowing. If somebody could just tell me when I'll go into labor and what complications I may have...it would be so much easier. Duh! I guess every pregnant lady probably wishes that...most just don't have to start wishing that as early as I legitimately do. Anyway, here's hoping for at least 2 more weeks but ideally 4 - 5 more weeks before baby decides to arrive.

I have pictures from the ultrasound but can't figure out how to install the scanner's drivers on Jim's computer. I guess that will have to wait for another day...I don't need the added stress! Technology. Argh.

And because I like posts with a picture, mommy and Gangan snuggling this morning:

Bed update: we bought a new King bed last Monday and it will be delivered on Tuesday! I am beyond excited for it to get here as it will give us much more "snuggle" room in the mornings and allow me to put my poor swollen feet up more!

Getting there

I had an OB check today (31 weeks and 1 day) and things are okay. Let me back up to last week. I'd been feeling pretty good, so I wasn't expecting anything but a quick check with a "you're good to go" at my regular two week OB check last week. I had the fortunate experience of bringing both kids with me by myself (as Jim was traveling)...but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Anyway, when she checked me, she took longer than normal and finally said that I was at a 1. Hmmm...like my cervis length is 1cm or I'm dilated to a 1. The latter. Great...AND 25% effaced. I was completely caught off guard but we agreed that I would take it easy this week and come back in one week for a recheck to see if things had progressed at all.

This diagnosis isn't necessarily "bad" news, just what happens after is what matters. Well, I woke up Friday at 6:45 with consistent contractions about 15-20 minutes apart and finally called the doctor at 8:30. They weren't overly concerned and by 9:30 or so, they were further apart and seemed to be going away. I was a little disappointed with the response time by my doctor but I'd spoken with her nurse so I knew my doctor was aware of the situation. Basically, they went away and there was no reason for me to go in for monitoring.

All week I've had what I call consistently inconsistent contractions. Not overly painful but definitely noticeable. I was NOT expecting a good appointment today for my recheck. Jim was able to go with for this appt, which means the two rugrats got to come along again (they are getting to be professional helpers!). She checked me again and THANK GOD there has been no change...which is what we wanted to see. While she is aware that checking my cervix can actually cause contractions, the benefit of knowing my progress was more important, at least at this point in the pregnancy. So, basically status quo for now. I feel a lot better that there hasn't been any progress toward labor and feel like I can breathe a little bit (I didn't realize I'd been proverbially holding it all week!).

I'm schedule for my "regular" 2 week check next week, so I guess we'll see then! For now, it seems that baby is staying put. I'm still measuring 3 weeks bigger than I should be but it is staying consistent so she isn't overly concerned. We will know more about that at my 34 week ultrasound.

Clearly seeing?

This afternoon Korri had her 6 month eye check.  The last one we had was great so I wasn't expecting much different this time. That is when they always get you isn't it? When you are least prepared.

Anyway, Korri was a champ and did everything that was asked of her despite her distracting brother being in the room. This was not a dilation appt so basically they were just looking to see how her prescription was doing. That is fine.

However, her right eye has worsened since her last appointment, which means her brain is starting to favor her left eye again! Argh. For now, they didn't think it was necessary to start patching again but stressed how important it is that she wear her glasses every waking moment, which she is pretty good about doing. We will reassess in 6 months at which time they will do the full appointment including dilation. I really really hope it doesn't come to that but I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world and we will cross that bridge if/when we get to it.

Since we were in town (i.e. the Cities area) we had a play date with our friends Ms. Sharon, Laena, Braeland, Ms. Pam, Lilly, Levi, Ms. Mary Pat, and Bennie at a park near our eye clinic in SLP. It was beautiful weather and a great time was had by all. Hope we can do more of those this summer.

Baby Steps

On Saturday we participated in the fourth annual Baby Steps 3K walk. All proceeds from the walk benefited the neonatal program at Children's Mpls, including the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), infant care center (ICC), special care nursery (SCN), and more. We were grateful to have Grandma Kathy, auntie Kristine and Zander join us. We couldn't have asked for better weather as it was in the upper 70's (maybe a little humid) but with an occasional breeze. And most importantly, the rain held off until we were on our way home from the event!

On Friday I got clearance from my doctor that I was cleared to walk with the stipulation that I didn't try to beat anyone! LOL. So on that note, we decided not to bring a stroller because Korri would probably go about the pace that I would need to set for myself. She struggled a bit with the heat and distance but with a group effort, she made it just fine...as did I. Although my fingers were super swollen by the time we finished. Oh, well.

After the walk, they host a party for the walkers including lunch, Radio Disney and lots of games, activities and bouncy houses. Jim and I decided it was best for me to just sit and watch but the kids had a lot of fun on the activities. I felt like this was the first year where they were big enough (or maybe brave enough?) to actually participate.

We've said it so much in the past and we will most likely say it many times in the future, but we are so thankful and appreciative of our family and friends who have and continue to support us. Thank you so much for each and every donation and for those that weren't able to donate but joined us in spirit...we are grateful. This year was a bit reflective for me since we are trying to make sure that Babygan doesn't need these services...yet it is so reassuring and a good reminder that they are available, if we do.

Here are a few pics from the wonderful event:

If you planned on donating and never got around to it, there is still time: Team Finnegan's website

Insurance? What insurance?

I'm sure you can all relate and I just need to vent. After spending 3 to 4 hours on the phone yesterday, Jim and I have realized that our insurance would rather we NOT get the preventative prenatal care that is considered necessary by the experts treating me and they would rather us deliver early and spend over $1 million like they did when Finn was born! I DON'T get it. We are being "penalized" because we are being proactive in our health care needs. In essence, they are punishing those of us who preemptively are trying to save them money in the long run. Don't get me wrong, my motive is to have a healthy baby NOT save them money but the actions I am taking WILL save them money.

I was on the phone with my old clinic and the insurance company for 2 hours (and got hung up on once) until I got to the point where my blood pressure was so high, I had to hand it over to Jim or risk going into labor (ironic, isn't?). Jim was then on the phone for another hour or more and basically, nothing was resolved. The kicker of the deal is that when you look up our benefits online, it says no co-payment is required after the initial OB doctor visit including prenatal care, delivery, postnatal care and any related complications. Black and white. But nothing is "black and white" when it comes to insurance. They are charging me a co-payment for EVERY VISIT I've had since starting ultrasounds and injections! I could spit fire. If I didn't worry about the well being of my unborn child, I would stop all "high risk care" and then let them figure out the expenses of care when baby is born. So ridiculous.

I guess "it is just money" but when money is tight and you only have one income (when you are used to two), it IS a big deal. Argh. If you can't tell, I HATE insurance companies. They are such a scam.

Breathe easier

Ha, a play on words! We are now 28 weeks and the reason we are so happy to get to this milestone? This is the point during pregnancy when the baby's lungs are able to absorb oxygen and the baby starts manufacturing surfactant, a substance that allows the lungs to expand and collapse. By no means does it mean things would be easy sailing from here if baby were to be born but it is HUGE for the infant mortality rate to get beyond this milestone. Hooray!

I had an OB check today. We talked about a lot of things but the good news is that my cervix appears to be in great shape...closed, somewhat firm and no external funneling. My OB is concerned about how big I'm getting so early and possibly the size of the baby. This is contradictory to what the perinatologist said two weeks ago (she had NO concerns), so I don't know how concerned I should be about it. Basically, she wants me to eat a diet high in protein and veggies so that we don't run into another issue where baby is TOO big! If I continue to get bigger (which I'm sure I will, duh!), she will probably schedule regular ultrasounds to monitor baby and also my uterus...there is only so much room in there! Sheesh...it is always something.

Waiting for results of the FFN test, but expecting it to be negative, which is good!

*UPDATE* FFN was negative! Should be "safe" for two more weeks!

SEVEN days!

Last night was the night...Finn has been dry and accident free at night for one full week...seven days! He is SO proud of himself, as are we.

It has taken just over 4 months but we finally made it. And the best thing is that he has started waking up and taking himself potty...which I think is a good sign that he is really starting to "get" it. We will see what the next few days/weeks brings but we are super happy and proud of our GanGan! The deal is that he gets to pick "anything" once he made it one week...and it sounds like he is picking Chuck E Cheese. Boo...mommy hates that place, but daddy and the kids will have fun!

On another Finn note, I posted of Facebook but wanted to share here too...Finn found a neighbor friend this past weekend, Max! Max is in kindergarten (so one year older than Finn) and lives three houses down.

I am SO happy to finally find a neighbor that my kids can play with. No little girl yet for Korri but she doesn't mind tagging along, for now. They rode bikes for two hours Saturday morning. Max's mom drew an obstacle course on the road with sidewalk chalk, complete with a gas station and tiring changing station! So creative and the boys loved it. I also love how quickly little kids, especially boys, make friends. They have a common interest, riding bikes, and that is all that matters. I may live to regret this as I've heard, "Is Max outside? Can I go play with Max? When will Max be outside?" about 100 times since Saturday morning, but for now, it is music to my ears! Happy summer days to come.

Happy Mother's Day

Overall, I had a great Mother's Day. I have to say, Jim sure knows how to do it right! He got up at 7am with the kids and kept them downstairs until 9am, at which time he brought up breakfast in bed for all of us. He made scrambled eggs, bacon, homemade jumbo blueberry muffins and fresh squeezed juice.

The kids gave me a necklace they made at preschool (which Finn promptly put on and wouldn't let me wear) and Jim got me a membership to a CSA! I was so surprised and beyond happy since Jim never really seemed to be into it before. If you don't know what a CSA is (I didn't either until all my trendy Minneapolis friends told me about it!), it stands for Community Supported Agriculture. Basically, you buy into "shares" of a farm and in return you receive a weekly box of local, seasonal food directly from a farmer. I am like a kid at Christmas...I can't wait to get our first box (which I THINK will be the first week of June).

Side note: last week a member of the church came over to explain some things about St. Mary's and the congregation (I submitted our membership form a couple weeks ago)...so it was basically a "welcome" visit. He asked if I had any questions and one was about how the kids all left mass at the beginning and came back right before communion. What was this? Could any kids go? Was there an age limit" Etc. He basically made it sound like it was the church's form of Sunday School.

Back to yesterday after my wonderful breakfast and gifts, we all headed to church. When they called the kids to the front of the church, with little hope of them actually participating, I asked Finn and Korri if they wanted to go to "Church Class." Korri said yes right away and after some encouragement, Finn agreed as well. Jim and I were skeptical but hopeful. All the kids filed out and even though Finn was pushing Korri the whole time, they left and stayed the entire time! Jim and I got SO much more out of church with them gone. I really hope this is a trend to come. Honestly, I think them going to the class was my best Mother's Day gift possible!

When we got home, Jim made Eggs Benedict, even though he was partially lame after having broken his finger yesterday. Oh, yeah. We had to take a trip to the ER Saturday afternoon after Jim smashed his finger between a cement block and a rock.

It ended up being broken and was extremely painful (and continued to fill up with blood...gross!). Glad we went in, but there is so little they can do. Basically, he is in a splint for "several" weeks and is taking pain killer as needed. Hopefully the pain will start to dissipate soon. I've gotten really good at securing his splint.

So after lunch, Jim worked out in the garden for most of the afternoon and evening. He HAND TILLED it! That is crazy, especially considering I'm pretty sure nobody had actually planted something in there for several years (seemed to be overrun with strawberries and raspberries). The kids "helped" daddy and by bath time, they were all covered in dirt! A good spring day, I'd say. Now we just need to plant and wait for our harvest!

Enough about me. I want to thank our two wonderful mothers and wish them an extra special Mother's Day. We are so lucky to have your in our lives, and while you helped shape us into the adults we are today, we are especially grateful for the grandmothers' you are to our kids. And while DeAnn isn't either of our mothers, she is as close to a grandma to my kids as you can get. We appreciate you so much. I'd also like to thank all the women in our lives who are mothers, grandmothers and especially Kelsie, Becky and Renae...the godmothers to Finn and Korri. Our kids have so much love in their lives and it is mainly due to the influences of all of you wonderful women. I'd also like to thank all of their partners (and mine!) because let's face it...without our big boys caring and trying, Mother's Day would just be another day! Happy Mother's Day!

We make big babies

I had a growth scan ultrasound this morning at the MN Perinatologist office. This was a follow up to my level 2 ultrasound when they were a little concerned about my levels of amniotic fluids being high. A huge thank you to Stacey for sitting in as Jim's proxy, as Jim had travel that he couldn't change.

First and foremost...Babygan is doing great with no concerns! Fluid levels are still high (95%) but all the reasons of something wrong with baby that could be causing it were basically ruled out. Babygan has grown considerably since the level 2 and is now in the 75% (abdomen in the 80th...my kids have big bellies!)! Basically she said it is as simple as big babies make more fluid. She said there is nothing for me to do differently and is happy with the size of the baby. While I don't like the idea of going full term and birthing a "huge" baby out my hoo-ha...I do like the idea of baby being big, especially if we go a little early. So good news.

My cervix was 3cm long (NOT to be confused with dilated), which the perinatologist said was good. I still to have reservations about it continuing to thin, but I keep getting told not to worry. The tech said it was starting to funnel (she didn't use that term but I can't remember exactly what she said, maybe beaking) but only on the interior side and not to worry (there's that word again). They did not do a manual exam of the cervix.

Upon Jim's request, I asked if we have preterm labor, should we go to Buffalo Hospital, which is closest or go directly to Abbott, which is further but has higher level of care. She said to go to the closest hospital. It is most important for them to start whatever treatment as soon as possible and then transfer me than run the risk of "not making it" to the hospital if we went to Abbott. Yikes! Guess that answers that question. Maybe we won't need to worry about it and we'll have an August baby...

Babygan's face...there's that chin again!

Babygan was "talking to the hand" with hand in front of face (profile with hand at top of pic)!

As a testament to Jim and me making big babies, Finn was 1 lb 15 oz and they were expecting him to be around 1 lb 6 oz...HUGE difference when you are that small! And Korri was three weeks early and weighed 7.5 pounds. They estimated that her 40 week weight would have been 9 lbs! Ouch.

We made it!

Well, not to the end goal, of course, but we made it past yesterday...which was 25 weeks and 6 days and the day in my first pregnancy that Finn was born! I know there is nothing magical about that specific point in the pregnancy but just as it did with Korri, it feels so good to be past that milestone. So Finn will officially be the earliest of our children and now we know we can handle whatever may come! I'm glad that Finn will have the title of "earliest born" and not this little one!

Today I had my glucose test for gestational diabetes and OB check. I chose fruit punch for the sugar stuff you have to drink and I have to say...it was WAY better than the stuff I had to drink when pregnant with Korri. So to all you pregnant women or those having future babies...pick the fruit punch flavor! It gave me heartburn but I guess that isn't too out of the norm. I was a little worried that I might have it because my belly has been measuring a little bit (two weeks larger than it should today). And I just got the results back...no gestational diabetes! Yeah.

Since my biweekly ultrasounds are done (well, except for the one this Friday), my OB wants to see me every two weeks. Seems like a lot but probably necessary. She will do an FFN (Fetal Fibronectin) test at each appt. A negative with this test says that you are 99% likely NOT to go into labor over the next two weeks (barring any external factors like trauma or something). If you have a positive, it doesn't mean you will go into labor, as there are many things that can give a false positive but maybe more reason to proceed with caution (like we already aren't...LOL!). My FFN results for today...NEGATIVE! That is great news because I've been having a few symptoms lately (and my cervix was soft but thick, TMI I know) that were be a bit concerning so my doctor is really happy with the results. And more importantly, I shouldn't have the baby before 28 weeks! Why is that significant? That is when the lungs are developed enough for baby to breathe! Yay. Here's to two more uneventful weeks of pregnancy!

New doctor

On Friday, Finn and I went to his (second) well-child appointment. As you'll recall, after giving him three chances, I HATED the doctor we saw in Buffalo so the doctor at Finn's NICU Follow Up recommended going to Wayzata Children's Clinic in Delano instead. Well, I finally got around to making the new patient/well-child appointment, which was last Friday.

Now I realize it was only the first appointment but I LOVE LOVE LOVE the new clinic and doctor! I looked through the doctors' bios before making the first appointment and picked Dr. Bies because it said she specialized in children with complex medical issues. Now I know Finn doesn't have complex medical issues any longer, but my hope was that she would better understand the journey we've had and know what we (okay, I) would need in the future in a healthcare provider.

I loved this place from the moment we walked in. They greeted Finn by name and engaged him the whole time. I'd pre-filled out the form (of course!) so we were going through them. It was so organized, professional and friendly. By the time we were done with forms, the nurse was waiting to take us back. We actually saw a resident first and he was awesome with Finn. I kind of wished he was staying at this clinic when he was done! But I really liked the doctor, too. I explained why we switched and she said she completely understood and hoped I would always feel comfortable to bring things up and expect an appropriate response from her or her team.

The facility is great and they have four other locations. They said that they have same day sick appointments in Delano but they offer tons of other hours and options at the other locations as well. Basically, we will be able to reach somebody or go in to see somebody almost any time, any day! Finn's feedback would be that they could use some toys in the exam rooms, but they had books and he managed to crawl around and keep himself occupied.

So, I think all of our kids will be going here. If Korri is healthy this year, she won't need to go back in until January but we'll establish baby at this clinic, too. I feel SO much better about our doctor situations (Finn's and mine) now that we are no longer going the clinic we were going to. Hard to have to do that, especially when you are new to an area, but glad we took the time to find better care for our family! Here's to a healthy year for our family...and wonderful care if we aren't!

Before his appointment, we had a mommy/Finn date at the coffee shop. He picked hot chocolate and a chocolate chip cookie which, of course, was bigger than his head. It was so much fun to have one-on-one time with him and he really enjoyed it too.

Yet another hurdle!

Today, we had Finn's eye doctor appointment. He has perfect eye sight and NO residual effects of his early birth and the ROP (Retinopathy of Prematurity) he had early on in his life. He has 20/25 vision in each eye, which is slightly far sided. But the doctor said that almost all kids with normal vision are far sided at this point in their lives. The best news yet? He doesn't have to be seen by a pediatric Ophthalmologist any more! His vision can be tracked and followed by normal channels, such as through school and his pediatrician!

Honestly, I know it doesn't seem like much, but it feels like an accomplishment to us. I know how lucky we ended up being considering the early start to Finn's life, so when things like this move to the part of his journey that is in the past, it feels so good! Finn truly is a miracle in every sense of the word. Now, if only his listening skills were as keen as his vision! LOL.

Katie's Caring Bridge

As some of you already know, Jim's best friend's wife, Katie Born, had a massive stroke on Friday. I thought this would be the most effective way for sharing her caring bridge website for those who are interested: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/katieborn

She is doing well, all things considered and should be moving to a rehab center today!

Also if you are so inclined, there has been a meal plan set up that I know the family would greatly appreciate if you could help: http://www.takethemameal.com/meals.php?t=OVFL2087

A care/help schedule will be set up in the future, so be on the look out for that!

A love story

May 16, 2009 Finn and Granny meet for the first time.

March 19, 2011 Korri and Granny meet for the first time.

Written with love by Stacy Thomas...

Hi, my name is Stacy and I am Jim's wife. For those of you who don't know, Jim is Ron's son, who is Gram's son, so is Granny's daughter. So Granny is Jim's great grandma. Today is truly a celebration of an amazing life and I'm going to try to hold it together. But let's face it, I'm pregnant and the chances of that happening are pretty slim...but I'll try. Today I'm here to share with you a love story.

Jim and I have two children, Finnegan who is 5 and Korrigan who is 3 and they are Granny's great-great grandchildren, even though she often told people they were her grandchildren! And you heard me correctly...she was their great-great grandma.

The first love affair began on May 16, 2009 when Granny laid eyes on Finnegan for the first time in Ron's dining room. After Finn's birth, it was a long, difficult journey to arrange their meeting (a journey Granny understood all too well since she was a preemie too), but we managed and it was beautiful. One hundred years his senior, she couldn't get enough of him. With the help of a picture of Gram, we were able to take a picture of FIVE generations...simply unheard of and such a miracle (for both Granny and Finn!). From that day forward, she told anybody who would listen about Finnegan, even if she thought his name was a little funny.

The second love affair began on March 19, 2011, the day Granny met Korri. Now, Granny always adored Finn and talked about him as often as she could, but there was something special between Granny and Korri. They are kindred spirits with spunk and sass to spare. But Korri has a nurturing soul that latched on to Granny immediately. Korri always stood right next to her, hugged her as many times as she could and often climbed up on her lap so Granny could see better whatever it was Korri was showing her. Even though Granny has gone to heaven, I feel strongly that her spirit lives on in many people but especially in Korri.

My kids spend a lot of time in Ortonville during the summers and every single day, they would walk up to "Granny's house" for a visit. I think they thought it was actually granny's house and other people just lived with her. The favorite part was that Finn was allowed to ride his bike through the halls with the caveat that he didn't run into anybody or anything, of course. Everybody there loved seeing him zooming around and he was so happy and excited to be able to go there. I think that is how you can tell how special their relationship with Granny was...because they never dreaded going there nor thought it was weird to be around so many "old" people nor put up a fight to visit. They often asked (or demanded) to go and went happily every single time.

The love between them and Granny was mutual and total. Even to the very last visit two weeks ago. Granny could barely sit up and my kids just got closer then, so she could hear or see what they were doing or showing her. No big deal. When it was time to go, Korri snuggled right in and gave Granny the biggest hug and said, "I hope you feel better soon, Granny." Even though we'd told them that Granny would be going to heaven soon, Korri still had hope that she would get better so they could have more visits.

So, yes, like so many others here today, I'm sad. I'm sad for what we've lost. I'm sad for the great love my kids have lost. I'm sad for the visits we won't get to have any more. I'm sad for all the cooking secrets that Granny took with her. Although this past weekend she did share with Jim the secret to her skinny pancakes...which apparently is using milk right from the cow that you milked yourself. Of course! But I'm also happy. Happy for all the memories, wonderful times and love shared between Granny and so many. But most importantly, I'm happy because Granny's soul is free from earthly constraints and she is enjoying herself in heaven with all those she has missed so dearly. So while this love story may have come to a conclusion in person, I have a feeling it will continue forever through pictures and memories and with Granny, herself watching over her two little "grandkids" that she loved so dearly. Thank you, Granny, for all you've given to and shared with us. You will live forever in our stories, memories, prayers and hearts.

Stronger than a rock

In Loving Memory

Della Marie Knippen
October 11, 1908 - April 14, 2014

Written with love by James Thomas:

Granny was stronger than a rock…

Heaven is a beautiful place. Everyone’s clothes are glowing white with gold trim and everyone is happy. This is how Granny described heaven to me about 20 years ago. She talked of seeing angels and how beautiful they were. She had seen it all and spoke with such realism and authority that one could not doubt the truth of what she saw. She spoke in terms that made it unquestionable that this is exactly how it is.

When we moved across town in 1989, one of the things we were happiest about is how close we’d be to Granny. We would walk there, ride our bikes there and later drive our cars there. After I got my driver’s license, I had to be very careful driving over and where I parked as she did live next to a cop after all. Additionally I always minded my Ps and Qs because she also live next to my 1st grade teacher! In hindsight, if I had asked her opinion about where to park she probably would have said that walking isn't crowded.

We would go visit Granny and she always made us feel important. She loved watching her soap operas but when John and and I went to visit she would turn them off and pay attention to US. I remember during one period of time we thought she was forgetting things (perhaps a mid life crisis at 80) so we figured we could get two visits for the price of one. When we’d visit, Granny always gave us snacks and attention - so we’d visit once and get our snacks and then visit again later that day because she forgot; well she didn't forget she just cared that much and we got more snacks and attention.

Granny always had hidden behind her chair in the living room games that we could play - one was like a wooden pin-ball game; I loved that game. We’d take it out and play it nearly every time we visited - she was always curious as to how well we did. I dream about Granny’s house all the time. Sometimes in my dreams her basement is a haunted house; sometimes I don’t know what’s in the freezer or other times it is always spring and she’s sitting on the back steps watching the garden and yard that she’s tended too.

When John and I would visit during the spring and summer, we would pick flowers for Granny. Tulips, lilacs, whatever was around. She always appreciated it so much and they’d go right into a vase with water. Even if they weren't very pretty.

Granny loved my wife. Gram loved my wife and would have been very happy that I married her. Granny always remembered Stacy and would light up when she knew Stacy was there.

I always wanted Granny’s green car. It was old and cool and I didn't know how it fit into the garage. I still don’t think a car can fit in that garage. Sometimes people would think that the car was driving itself as she guided it down the street while watching the road between the steering wheel and the top of the dash.

Granny wasn't perfect - she cheated at cards. I have to say that I don’t remember any specific cases when I caught her cheating so at least she must have been good at it. Or maybe she was so good at cards that people said she was cheating because they couldn't beat her and she wasn't cheating. Some of my happiest memories were playing royal rummy; we played at Gram’s house which is what I remember most but sometimes at Granny’s too. We’d also play Trivial Pursuit which she didn't like. I know we’d always try to get her to play and she didn't want to but sometimes her answers were funny and sometimes I’d wonder how she knew something that she got right.

Granny always had these toast like crackers that she spread with butter. I dream about those things. To this day I don’t know what they are. They might have just been normal crackers but I always thought they were special and wish I could remember what they were. Granny loved green onions. I don’t know why that’s important but maybe it’s just important because I remember it. Some people say that things are as ridiculous as government cheese; well Granny got some of that cheese and I always enjoyed having it. I think in retrospect that is more of a commentary on the quality of the time spent with her than the quality of the cheese.

When we would go visit Granny at her house, it was usually locked if she wasn't sitting in her porch. But of course the key was simply hidden right by the door and we knew where it was and would let ourselves in. If she wasn't right there we’d eat as much candy as was in her candy dish until she realized she had company.

Her bathroom had a particular and peculiar smell. I think it was probably decorative soap. I think it was probably a horrible smell but to this day I miss that smell because of the memories I associate with it. I don’t know what was always in Granny’s spare bedroom but I know there wasn't room to sleep and it was full. I think it was coupons.

One summer day around the 4th of July Granny was sitting in one of those old rickety lawn chairs on the dock at my parents cabin. She fell off the dock and hit her head on the big rock leaving a small rock size welt on the side of her forehead. Of course she was fine and didn't want anyone to fuss over her - not even DeAnn who indeed did try to fuss over her.

Like the way that she lived her life and loved her family Granny was then and always has been stronger than a rock.

Pointy chin!

Things continue to go well...but I guess that is always the case until they don't! Ha. I had an ultrasound this morning and it went GREAT! Baby posed for lots of cute pictures (something my children must learn really early!). Amniotic fluid level was normal (yay). And most importantly and what I was most nervous for...my cervix remains at 3.5cm...which is unchanged from two weeks ago. This is the first time it hasn't thinned between ultrasounds, so that makes me really happy and relieved. I have my glucose test and routine OB check up in two weeks. We'll see how that goes but I feel much better about things after today's appt.

On Saturday I will be 24 weeks and 3 days. Anybody remember why that day is significant? That is when my water broke with Finn. There is nothing "magical" about that date but it is a milestone I was so happy to get passed with Korri. I'll breath a little easier after then (especially since we'll be in Oville that day...yikes!). The next milestone after that on our radar is 25 weeks and 6 days which is when...I delivered Finn. I just can't even comprehend that all really happened. Crazy. Here's to lots more weeks of a healthy, non-preterm labor pregnancy!

Oh and we decided not to do home care for my weekly progesterone shots. While it would have been very convenient, it would have cost us $700 (the remainder of our deductible) AND $35/week for each visit! Um, let me think...there is NO out of pocket cost to just go in to the office vs $700 (deductible) + $420 (week shot x how many weeks I have left). No brainer, even though I REALLY would have preferred to have a nurse come to my house. Oh, well.

Here are some pics from the ultrasound this morning. As you can tell from the first one, this child has the same pointy/prominent chin that my other kids do! Too funny that you can tell that already. Also, the 3D one was done by HAND by the tech. Amazing. Even though baby is super cute and I can't wait to cuddle, I keep reminding baby to stay put for now!

Easter Eggs

Grandma and Zander came over to visit yesterday, so I thought it would be a great opportunity to color Easter eggs! They only dyed three each but had fun seeing how dark each color would make the eggs. We had jumbo eggs so the little wrappers that come with them didn't really fit. Oh, well. Note to self to get smaller eggs for next year. After they dried, Grandma and Korri couldn't let the stickers go unused and amply applied on Korri's eggs (maybe some of Zanders, too?). Anyway, it was a fun way to spend a very cold afternoon and it was fun to share with Grandma and Zander, too!

Happy Easter to all of you. We hope yours is filled with family fun and safe travels.

Twenty-two weeks and counting

Things are going well so far with this pregnancy (22 weeks as of Wed). As I did when pregnant with Korri, I get more nervous as we near the 24 week mark, which is when my water broke with Finn. I had an ultrasound yesterday and while my cervix length continues to shorten (from 5.5cm to 3.5cm yesterday), my OB is not overly concerned, as it is over 2.5 cm, which is the point where they get concerned. She reiterated to take it "as easy as possible" to try to get it to stabilize. With two small children, I'm not even sure what that means! LOL. They also measured my amniotic fluid, which was over the "normal" levels two weeks ago. She wasn't able to see all four quadrants but the fluid volume was estimated at 22 cm (under 25 cm is "normal") but they still categorize it as "high normal." Of course. So we continue to watch that as well.

Stacey came with me to my appointment yesterday and Kelsie was working in Buffalo, so she came over, too. It was fun to show them the baby and the baby was acting very "cute" for them. The baby was sucking on fingers/thumb (of COURSE we will have another thumb sucker!) and doing pouty lips!

So funny. It was my first ultrasound at my new OB office, which is done at the hospital. It was a very good experience and reinforced how good of a decision it was to switch. We are in the process of setting up home care to administer my progesterone shots, so hopefully that will be in place by next week before my next shot is due. Poor Stacey...she saw the HUGE needle they use. I think she might have thought I was exaggerating about how big the needle was and how painful the shot is. Now she knows! LOL. I scheduled a tour of the Buffalo Hospital Birth Center for early May. Now I'm just praying that we still need the tour by then (i.e. haven't had preterm labor or delivery yet!).