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Nearly half a million babies (1 in 10) are born premature in the US each year which is higher than that of most other developed nations. This is the journeys of our first born son, Finnegan, who was born 14 weeks early and weighed only 1 pound 15 ounces at birth. Of our daugher, Korrigan, who was born a healthy 7 pounds, 7 ounces at 37 weeks. And of our second son, MacKeegan, who was also born at 37 weeks at a whopping 8 pounds, 13 ounces. Our continued adventures reminds us daily how good God is.

Tuesday, October 27

Judgement

What would you do if you're being judged by a four year old?

As most of you know, I started working out a few months ago using the Insanity Max 30 program. The program is 60 days, 5 days a week, 30 minutes per day. I started out doing the modified track (same work out, just low impact versions of the same exercises) for two reasons. 1. my knee has been jacked for almost three years now and I wanted to find something I could do that wouldn't hurt/damage it further. 2. To say I was out of shape would be giving myself credit were credit isn't do. Is round a shape? I needed to ease in.

Anyway, Korri loves to watch us work out and sometimes participate, which I love. I want her to know it is good to move your body and can even be fun (ok, lets not get carried away...lol!). Well, when I was doing the modified version, she would make comments about how I wasn't doing it right, or I wasn't trying hard enough, or why wasn't I doing it like Shaun, or daddy does it better than that, etc. I told her that Shaun (the trainer) said to do as much as you can and anything is better than nothing.

But I felt like she was looking down on me for not doing the exercises to their full expression...she WAS looking down on me and judging me for it! And you know what, it made me feel insecure about myself and why wasn't I doing the full exercises. But I powered through and completed the 60 days, albeit modified. And it felt GREAT!!!

Then I started over but I decided to do the full program because I was much more in shape and my knee held up surprisingly well. But I'm still not "in shape," whatever that means. And on the first day, Korri commented something like, "hey, you're doing it right, mommy!" Hmmm... Yeah, suck it, 4 year old!

But now today, she was working out with me (and by "working out" I mean she does 15 seconds of one exercise, rests for a few MINUTES and comes in for a few seconds of whichever one she likes to do next), she said, "Can't you lift your legs any higher?" "I'm holding my leg straighter than you are, mommy." I mean, give me a break! I want her to exercise with me, but I need to gag her or something. I just keep telling her that we all do it whatever way we can and the important thing is that we are moving our bodies and being healthy. Which I'm sure a 4 year old hears "blah, blah, blah..."

It doesn't "really" bother me. I mean, she is four. She has a four year old's body and flexibility. I should get some kind of handicap or something (or wheelchair!). But when you are doing something that is good for you and you are trying really hard (these workouts are NOT easy in the least!!), you want to feel good about it and if there are going to be comments about your working, you want them to be positive and supportive. Oh, well. Again, she's four. I did point out to her this morning that I'm more flexible than she is...which she didn't like. I probably made it worse by doing that but I wanted her to know we are all different and have different strengths. Maybe it will give me motivation to keep doing the workouts until I CAN do them properly and fully and not "max out" until 30 minutes each time!! I'll turn her judgement into motivation. Watch out, here I come (albeit slowly, sweaty and breathing heavily!).

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