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Nearly half a million babies (1 in 10) are born premature in the US each year which is higher than that of most other developed nations. This is the journeys of our first born son, Finnegan, who was born 14 weeks early and weighed only 1 pound 15 ounces at birth. Of our daugher, Korrigan, who was born a healthy 7 pounds, 7 ounces at 37 weeks. And of our second son, MacKeegan, who was also born at 37 weeks at a whopping 8 pounds, 13 ounces. Our continued adventures reminds us daily how good God is.

Wednesday, June 25

Celebrating with sadness

We made it! Today marks two very important things in my life: making it to 34 weeks in this pregnancy and one year since my dad passed away.

Obviously 34 weeks isn't our end goal, but it is HUGE that we made it this far, especially considering the events of the last week or two. Now, when I go into labor, Babygan SHOULD be able to stay at Buffalo Hospital with me and not have to be transported to Children's. That is a huge weight off my mind. I had some pretty major contractions last night but they went away after medication and rest. So, we are good for now. I'll be curious to see if there has been any progress or changes at my OB check tomorrow.

Secondly, today marks one year since my dad passed away. There are certain events that change your life forever. This is one of them for me. It was so unexpected and tore me apart at my core. When you don't have a picture perfect relationship with somebody and then they are taken from you, it is horrible. That being said, it also gave me the perspective on how much I truly loved him and the impact he had on my life, even if it wasn't what I thought I needed at the time. My dad was always there to help, watch and listen. There have been so many moments in the last year where I've thought, "I just need to ask dad" but then I can't. People say that time heals all wounds and while I certainly am in a better place than I was a year ago, I don't think I'll "get over" my dad dying. I just want another hug. I just want my kids to have one more visit to play on his dump truck or backhoe. I wish he could have met and held my unborn child. I wish he would have gone to the doctor just ONCE so we knew what was going on but in true dad fashion, he died like he lived his life...on his own terms and in his own way.

Dad, I will miss you until my dying day. You weren't perfect but you were my dad. Thank you for teaching me the value of hard work, loyalty and being a kind person. You are missed so much. I know you are watching over us. I'm glad you are just a prayer away. I love you so much!

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