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Nearly half a million babies (1 in 10) are born premature in the US each year which is higher than that of most other developed nations. This is the journeys of our first born son, Finnegan, who was born 14 weeks early and weighed only 1 pound 15 ounces at birth. Of our daugher, Korrigan, who was born a healthy 7 pounds, 7 ounces at 37 weeks. And of our second son, MacKeegan, who was also born at 37 weeks at a whopping 8 pounds, 13 ounces. Our continued adventures reminds us daily how good God is.

Thursday, December 9

What is wrong with people?

I forgot to mention a very unpleasant experience at class today. We have "parent" time when we go to a different room than the kids and talk about joys and concerns from the previous week and usually cover a specific topic for that week. Well, today there were several parents who were not there last week. When it was my turn, I just expressed my feelings about how I am REALLY ready for Finn to be walking and that I've been patient with all the other physical delays, but now I'm just ready. I said I'd like him to be walking before he turns two in January. Well, another mom who was not there last week and is of a different..."background" shall we say...than myself just about fell out of her chair and was like, "Two? He is almost two and not walking? Most babies walk at 12 months. That is ridiculous." And on and on. I was so caught off guard. I haven't had to deal with this kind of reaction in a long time (if ever). I interrupted her to say that Finn was early and that was why but she just kept on going. Another mom chimed in and said that her son didn't walk until 17 or 18 months and he was full term (trying to make me feel better, probably) and mom #1 just didn't get it.

I know that what we went through with Finn probably made me more accepting and tolerant of differences than the average person, but seriously, this was ridiculous. I wish I'd been prepared so I could have responded better, but of course, all those things she was saying have gone through my head at some point (how couldn't they have?!?) and brought up some major insecurities I have as a mother (what is wrong with me that Finn isn't walking...although my logical self knows it isn't me) and just made me feel terrible. I don't know. I haven't had a "preemie experience" in a while and I was hoping they were past us. I guess not. I feel like if he would just start walking, maybe then it would be behind us. I should have said to her, "Yeah, well when did your kid start talking? Finn did at 11 months. Did yours? I didn't think so." But unlike her, I have self-restraint and common decency.

1 comment:

Nikki said...

Unfortunately you're going to encounter people like this often, whether you have a premie or not.

Gather a group of moms together and you will likely encounter some that think there's something wrong with your kid or something wrong with your parenting style or choices etc.
Just always keep in mind that you are an awesome mom and that you're doing the best you can. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.